Ibintu 35 biteye agahinda n’ubwoba utakeka ko burya bibera mu ngo

1. Gukoresha uwo mwashakanye imibonano mu buryo butamenyerewe kandi ku ngufu. Urugero: guhora wumva ko mwashyira mu kibuno, kumuhatira gukora imibonano yo mu kanwa kandi ku buryo buhoraho, kumuhatira gukora imibonano y’ubucakara…

2. Abagore baca inyuma abagabo. Noneho benshi bacana inyuma n’abagabo b’inshuti magara z’ingo zabo (z’abagabo babo). Abagabo babifata nk’aho abagore batajya baca inyuma, kandi ko guca inyuma ari sakirirego ku mugore, ariko ni nko kwihoza, kuko umubare w’abagore baca inyuma abagabo babo umaze kuzamuka cyane.

3. Umugore kubyara abana batari ab’umugabo we, umugabo ntazarabukwe. Byaravugwaga ngo nta mugabo w’ingumba, kuko umugore yirwanagaho akabona umwana. Ikindi umugore yari uw’umuryango. Umugabo utabyaye yabyarirwaga na se cg abavindimwe na we. N’ubwo uyu muco wacitse, ariko kubyara abana hanze y’urugo biracyabaho, aho noneho umugore ababyara aho ashaka.

4. Umugore gukoreshwa imibonano na sebukwe. Kera byasaga n’aho bizwi kandi byemewe, byitwaga gukazanura. Ariko uyu munsi hari aho bikiba, nyamara mu ibanga rikomeye. Aho umusaza ashobora kubikora ku gitsure, cg se akabyumvikanaho n’umukazana we, cyanecyane iyo uyu musaza afite ubushobozi mu mafaranga buruta ubw’umuhungu we.

5. Tumenyereye gucana inyuma. Ariko se wari uzi ko hari abashakanye bacana inyuma mu butinganyi? Wari uzi ko hari igihe uwo wita umugabo w’inshuti y’umugabo wawe magara wasanga batingana?

Wari uzi ko umugore w’inshuti y’umugore wawe magara wasanga batingana?

6. Kwima burundu uwo mwashakanye. Ugasanga abantu basigaye babayeho nta kubaka urugo.

7. Umwe mu bashakanye, cyanecyane umugabo, gufata ku ngufu mugenzi we.

8. Umugabo gutera inda/gukoresha imibonano abo mu rugo rwe: umwana we bwite, umwana umugore yatahanye mu rugo, umwana bafitanye isano, umukozi we.

9. Umugore gukorana imibonano n’umukozi we, umuzamu, umwana w’umuhungu bagira icyo bapfana cyangwa ugira icyo apfana n’umugabo we.

10. Umugore/umugabo kwanga umwana we urunuka no kumutoteza.

11. Umugabo/umugore upfobywa, akanatotezwa n’umugore/umugabo we kubera impamvu runaka.

12. Umugabo/umugore upfobywa akanatotezwa n’umuryango w’umugore/
umugabo we.

13. Umugore winjiza umutungo mu rugo ariko akaba adashobora kuwugiraho uruhare na rutoya. Ahangaha, hari n’abagore bahemberwa kuri konti z’abagabo babo kandi badafite uburenganzira bwo kubikuza.

14. Umukozi wo mu rugo guterwa inda na shebuja, nyirabuja agafasha umugabo kumwirukanira kure.

15. Umubyeyi wigisha abana be kwanga undi mubyeyi.

Cyanecyane abagore bangisha abana babo ba papa babo.

16. Ababyeyi bigisha abana babo kwangana n’abandi bagira icyo bapfana cyangwa abaturanyi.

17. Gutera inda umukobwa mukabana ku ngufu z’umuryango kandi utamukunda!

18. Umugore/umugabo ushyirirwaho amategeko akaze n’uwo bashakanye, ukenera gusaba uruhushya rwa buri kantu kose n’iyo kaba gatoya cyane. Urugero, umugore udashobora guchatinga, kwitaba phone, guhamagara… igihe umugabo ari mu rugo. Kuba atasura umuntu n’umwe adahawe uruhushya kandi agategekwa amasaha yo gutahira, mu gihe mugenzi we yiragira akicyura.

19. Kuba umugore ashingana umugabo ijosi kuko amurusha umushahara cga ariwe ukora ahantu heza. Agatangira kubaho nk’umusiribateri. No kuba umugabo atoteza umugore we, akamupfobya, kuko nyine amurusha gukorera amaf. Menshi cg ari we uyakorera wenyine.

20. Kuba abana barerwa na bene wabo bagirwa abacakara mu rugo, kandi mu buryo butagaragarira abaturanyi cg ababagenderera.

21. Kuba umugabo adaha agaciro umugore we, akamurutisha inshuti ze.

22. Kwimana mu buriri burundu.

23. Kugera mu rugo ugahugira kuri phone gusa, abagize umuryango wawe ntubibuke, kandi bigahora bityo.

24. Umugabo akunda akazi cane akagera mu rugo yananiwe bigatuma
adakora inshingano zimugenewe murugo.

25. Umugabo/umugore ukorera mu kwaha k’umuryango avukamo, cyangwa kw’inshuti ze.

26. Guharurukana. Kutaganira.

27. Umwe mu bashakanye kubaho ubuzima bwa wenyine adashaka gusangira na mugenzi we.

28. Umwe mu bashakanye kunezezwa no kwikinisha aho gukora imibonano na mugenzi we.

29. Guhimba missions z’akazi zitabaho, kandi waragiye mu bagore/mu bagabo.

30. Kwimurira ibyicaro mu kabari, buri gihe umugabo agataha bukeye.

31. Abagore bamwe bafashe uburinganire nko kwiganzura abagabo cg guhangana.

32. Ababyeyi kudaha abana umwanya, bakitabwaho n’abakozi gusa.

33. Gufuha cyane kugeza ubwo ibyo utekereza ko uwo mubana yakoze ubigira ihame, ukanabimuziza kandi ntabyabaye.

34. Umukozi wo mu rugo guhinduka inshoroke ya nyirurugo.

35. Umugabo kugirana amasezerano n’undi mugabo yo kumurongorera umugore we.

Ubu ingo nyinshi zirikurugamba ruhoraho. Bamwe, barutangiye uhereye italiki baboneye uburenganzira bwo kwubaka urugo.

Bamwe bafatanije n’abo badashaka kandi badakunda, abandi bashyingiranywe nabo batazi neza bamaze kubasobanukirwa babakuraho umutima.

Bamwe bagiye bahubukira ubukwe, none ubu bifuza gutana nabo bahisemo. Abandi bahisemo abakire, none kuko budahoranwa, bahora mu maganya y’urdaca no gusebanya. Ibyo byose n’ibindi bitavuzwe, niyo ntandaroyo guhora abuntu bajy’impaka, no kutanezerwa kenshi.

…Ubu duhagaze imbere y’ingorane ziremereye zizanwa nuko umuntu wese Atari kuzuza inshingano ze, inshingano z’urugo ntizuzura, abanyeshuri ntibagendera kuri gahunda y’ishuri, n’abigisha nuko. Ukora muri Biro amasaha ye yase ntayuzuza. Mw’etorero amasaha menshi arangirira mu kwiga gahunda, aho kwiga ubukristo.

Ahantu hose inshingano yo guhesha abandi umunezero ubikoranye umwete, ntikigira umwanya wo kwitabwaho. Ikiri gutumal umuntu wese ahanganye n’ishyano nuko atagira umwanya uhagije wo gukurikirana no kwitondera ibimureba, ngo amenye ingorane zi n’ibimugerageza.

Ahubwo akihitiramo kwikunda, ibyo bikamuhisha umgambi ukomeye watumye Imana imushyira kw’isi. Maze kwikunda kukamutera guhemuka, bikamuzanira kwangwa, amaherezo akagwa mu mwijima. Amaherezo uwo mwijima ukamugeza mu gahinda, mu mubabaro no mu bwihebe”. Guide de formation personnelle p. 11.

“Dukeneye cyane kubon’uburyo bwatuma tugirana ubwumvikane, kandi ntitwabigeraho tudafite urukundo rwimbitse rugaragazwa n’ibikorwa.

Pawulo Tournier yaravuz’ati: Iyo tumubwiye ibimugirira akamaro, tukamuha ibisubizo byiza igihe atubajije, kandi tukamukorera ibyiza tubikuye ku mutima, tuba tumugiriye akamaro, mu murage wejo n’uwahazaza, kandi ibyiza bye bizaba bidukomotseho. Uko niko urukundo mu bihe byose rwagiye, rugaragaza ko rukenewe, kandi ko rfite amakakama, afite ubushobozi bwo ghuza ngufatanya abantu.

…Urukundo nyakuri no kwitamba kwuzuye, imbaraga yarwo n’ukwiyibagirwa, ubwiza bwarwo n’ibikorwa. Urufatiro rwarwo n’ukwiyibagirwa ugakorera abandi. Gukunda abandi s’ingingo yoroshye, nicyo gituma kugirango umuntu abigereho, asabwa guhinduka akaremururwa,
akagororwa ku giti cye.

Guide de formation personnelle p. 38.

“Menya ko ushaka urukundo atazarugeraho umunsi umwe ngo bibe bihagije iteka ryose. Ugomba kurufata neza buri munsi, ukaganira ibirwerekeyeho, ukarushira mu bikorwa ngo ruter’imbere, ukarurata, ukaruha umwanya w’imbere, ukarubaraho ubutungane bwuzuye.

Urukundo ntiruboneka hagati y’abantu batiringiranye. Kandi uruikundo nirwo buye ry’urufatiro rw’imbanziriza mushinga, ry’umuntu wese ushaka kubaka urugo ruhiriwe”.